Sometimes I wonder if it is cheating to use papers that I have written for other classes as blog posts for HONS. I can just about self-justify it by telling myself how interesting the papers were for me to write, imagining how relevant the subject matter may be to an HONS class setting, and, of course, reminding myself of the excellent marks that I received the first time I turned the papers in for credit. However, based on the last 1500-word essay that I posted (from CMST 107, for which I received an A+), I have come to the conclusion that nobody wants to read my extra-long prefabricated posts... or at least I know that I wouldn't.
As I think about it more, I also seem to recall something about how at least one of our blog posts each week is supposed to be about a current news event. This has become a lot more difficult since my news ticker (may God rest its soul) has apparently stopped ticking news, and, being the heartless utilitarian that I am, I promptly and unceremoniously tossed the thing into my virtual recycle bin, my own little digital Island of Misfit Toys. I dug it up just to check to see if it was working again (it was under the electronic jigsaw puzzle with the missing piece and my double-amputee Habbo avatar) and the last story that is posted to it is from February 21, annoyingly still telling me that The Love Guru won some awards for sucking at the Razzis; it is a story that I didn't care about the first several times that I saw it.
It must be some dark side of the economic crash: the guy who was in charge of ticking my ticker was either downsized or killed in a mugging. I'm going to miss that guy... or possibly that lady. He or she was a wonderful man or woman, full of vivacious energy, well-versed in computer sciences, and able to type large words without looking down at the keyboard. He or she always made me laugh with his or her comical headlines, and was constantly pulling practical jokes on me (generally it was disguising sports news which I care nothing about under a headline that appeared to be much more interesting than it really was).
I can't stop myself from thinking, "What if?" What if there had been no mugger to steal his or her wallet and accidentally pull the trigger on the revolver in an escape to get away from the scene of the crime, inadvertently hitting he or she in the lower femoral artery with a nine millimeter bullet? What if the mugger had not lost his silicon valley job and retirement to the plummeting economy? What if the mugger's house had not been foreclosed on because he had insisted on buying beyond his means to try to provide what he thought was a good life for his family? What if the tall woman at the bank had not approved the loan to the mugger that allowed him to buy that new Lexus but eventually led to his downfall? What if the banker had not drank so much coffee that morning? What if the legislation prohibiting risky loans had not been repealed? What then?
Maybe then my ticker technician would still be with us today and I wouldn't have to keep reading about the gosh-darn Razzies until kingdom come. Think about it.
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