Holy Sh** Week

I hope everyone is enjoying their day off, and I just thought I'd take a quick second to remind everyone of the holiday that we are celebrating.

As many of you know, today is Good Friday... well technically yesterday was Good Friday, since it is 3:37 a.m. on Saturday as I am writing this, which I suppose would technically make this the day that some Christian theologians refer to as "Uneventful Saturday," but since I'm operating on college student time, for all intents and purposes, today is Good Friday. And if you didn't know, Good Friday is the day that Christians and sadists celebrate the death of Jesus Christ, which, although incredibly gruesome and disturbing, is actually a good thing for humanity, because Jesus' blood fulfills all need for atonement of sin, making that old custom of mercilessly hacking up farm animals obsolete. Now, let's think about the implications of that act. Without Jesus, most everyone from PeTA would be going to hell (along with all of the rest of humanity). Without this day in history, the world would be a radically different place. Imagine history without the Holy Roman Empire, without the Crusades, without the Dark Ages, without the Pilgrims, the Reformation, and the Holocaust, without the Salem Witch Trials and the Spanish Inquisition. Granted, most of those things were pretty bad, but all of them had their roots in this day in history (Please don't think I'm trying to blame Jesus for any of these atrocities; most of them were rooted in Christian faith in name only. Obviously Jesus wouldn't condone genocide, stake burning, bloody conquests, fanaticism, and that sort of thing. Sometimes people can take good ideas and twist them into terrible atrocious ones.).

The day before Good Friday is known as Maundy Thursday. 99% of Christians have no idea what happened on Maundy Thursday, which is not surprising since most "Christians" know next to nothing about their faith. A quick trip to visit old Mr. Webster will tell us that the word "Maundy" is defined as "the ceremony of washing the feet of the poor, esp. commemorating Jesus' washing of His disciples' feet on Maundy Thursday"

Then, of course we have Easter Sunday, which is the capstone of Holy week, commemorating the day that a gigantic mutant rabbit annually sprinkles the landscape with plastic eggs filled with candy. Oh, and I guess Jesus rose from the mother-f**king dead, too. It's probably a coincidence that those two things happen on the same day.

One kid in my philosophy class wondered out loud why Good Friday is called "Good Friday," so being the good Christian that I am, I explained to him that it is good for us because it is the day that Jesus paid the price for our sins. He responded with some of the most amazing words that I have ever heard: "I wouldn't have called it 'Good Friday.' I would have called it 'Bad Friday,' and then I would have called Easter 'Holy Sh*t Sunday.'"

Holy Sh*t, indeed.